Trigger warming the post is about sexual and emotional abuse
The only way I’m going to get on with my own life is by admiring what happened to me.
I wrote about my dark day last year in January, refusing to admit what actually happened all them years ago in a cold wet Sunday night I a hotel. I didn’t want admit I was raped not only because it by someone who I thought loved and cared for me but because I thought was it really because it was my partner at the time who did it. I found myself ask myself can that even be rape?
The answer is yes I said no, no and the trust between us was taken when that happened. To be honest the relationship between us was toxic and I was controlled and manipulated in to doing things I didn’t want to. I love friends and found myself saying if I find a new job I could leave him. As we worked together and the environment was toxic to with a bully of boss who pulled me a side 3 days after this happened and I had finally got courage to split up with him, said nobody that I worked with liked me and all the customers hated me I went home a cried. I worked with my rapest and my bully boss for 3 more years.
I honestly thought this was something I dealt with. Maybe not personally buton a sexual level until I had Albert it clearly wasn’t, but I can honestly say that confessing this and seeking help has been the best thing I have even do my therapist has amazing and not judged and listened to everything thought that comes to mind and its help with everything from my eating disorder to everyday life. I have a long way to go but I have come along way to.
I refuse to be victim of my own thoughts any longer and I refuse to be a victim of emotional and sexual abuse. I refuse to let you or what you did effect me anymore. I just hope any body reading this that is or has been effected by these issues that they reach out someone and that if someone reaches out to you, Not to judge to be that ear to listen.